1. Wisconsin is the only state to offer a Master Cheesemaker program.
I’m going to wager a guess that Wisconsin is also the only state where you would ever be able to use your Master Cheesemaker certification.
2. Green Bay is known as the “Toilet Paper Capital of the World” because the first splinter-free toilet paper was produced there.
I don’t think this accomplishment gets the praise it deserves. Before this, people were dealing with splinters in their toilet paper??? And I thought a splinter in my finger hurt.
3. The coldest temperature ever recorded in Wisconsin is -55 degrees Fahrenheit in Sawyer County in 1996.
Ten bucks says there were still at least two shirtless, liquored-up, beer-bellied Packer fans saying, “You call this cold?”
4. Wisconsin repealed its Prohibition laws four years before the rest of the nation, and the 21st Amendment was authored by Wisconsin Senator John J. Blaine.
Our ancestors liked to drink as much as we do, obviously.
5. Wisconsin law states that livestock have the right-of-way on roads.
So that explains why they always look superior and take their sweet time when I honk my horn.
6. In La Crosse, it is illegal to “worry a squirrel.”
This really begs the question, “How does one actually go about this?” Threaten to steal the nuts they just buried? Swerve your car towards them instead of away when they try to cross the road?
7. The first cheesehead was actually worn at a Brewers game, not a Packers game, and was made from a couch cushion.
“Instead of sitting on this, I think I’ll wear it on my head.” Wisconsinites are nothing if not innovative.
8. Milwaukee’s Summerfest is in the Guinness World Records as the world’s largest music festival, attracting up to a million visitors per year.
Presumably, it also holds the record for longest wait ever for a Porta Potty.
9. Middleton’s National Mustard Museum has a collection of 5,300 different types of mustard from more than 60 countries and entry to the museum is free.
If you’re paying more than $0.00 to tour a mustard museum, you’re getting ripped off.
10. Several television shows were set in Wisconsin, including “Happy Days” and “Laverne and Shirley” (both set in Milwaukee), “Step by Step” (set in Port Washington), and “That 70’s Show” (set in fictional Point Place, a suburb of Kenosha).
And I can’t even get my pilot for “Survivor: Plover” off the ground.